Dad Jokes

"Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut."

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

Have you ever seen fruit preserves being made? It's jarring.

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

I fear for the calendar, its days are numbered.

So, I heard this pun about cows, but it’s kinda offensive so I won’t say it. I don’t want there to be any beef between us.

What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? He was not "peeling" well.